


Jaime/ Stir fries <3

by TheSunflower_Knight88



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Minor Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSunflower_Knight88/pseuds/TheSunflower_Knight88
Summary: Brienne needs a roommate. Jaime moves in. He's rude and she hates him.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 11
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of a yolo with this one. I love the roommate trope so I couldn't help myself. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

She’d been looking for weeks. Scanning through every bulletin board on campus, every post on Facebook, calling every number she found. Each person she contacted seemed to have miraculously filled the position just hours before she called. 

Brienne needed an apartment. And more importantly, a roommate. She couldn’t afford to rent the smallest of places with an account balance like hers. In fact, she was barely scraping together enough to pay for her classes at King’s landing, even with the scholarship money. 

“Brienne Tarth?” 

The cashier gave her a once over, her expression curdling before stretching out into a tight smile. Brienne slid the precious coins across the countertop, and stalked away with her coffee. Gods I hate this town. 

The main street was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday morning, a distant siren wailed, and the Autumn leaves crunched underfoot, reminiscent of warmer days. She headed to the library, figuring that she may as well get a head start on study before training started up again. 

Two blocks from the library and her phone bleeped. It was Marge. 

Margaery: Get over here right now

And then a few seconds later.

Margaery: You’ll want to hear this I swear

Brienne sighed. “This better not be another set up,” She muttered darkly, recalling a certain diabolical scheme involving Theon Greyjoy that she had yet to forgive her friend for. 

She started back towards Margaery’s flat, her current place of residence since she had moved off campus. It was a cosy two-bedroom apartment, though the second was more of a closet than anything, with a little study overlooking the lake, and a lovely modern living room that was mostly occupied by her brother Loras, and his boyfriend Renly.

Brienne knew it was a squeeze, though Marge was too kind to say anything. And besides that, her history with Renly was enough to cause her cheeks to flush red with humiliation at the mere sight of him. She was eternally grateful to her friend for accommodating her, but she needed to move out. 

The door was unlocked when she returned, and the TV was blearing from the living room. Brienne wrenched off her boots and padded inside.

“Brie!” 

Margaery all but sprang off the couch when she walked through the doorway, launching herself at her friend in a frenzy of excitement. 

Brienne hugged her back, laughing through her confusion.

The little woman released her, pulling back to clasp her hands warmly. Her nut-brown eyes were wide as saucers, brown curls falling about her face prettily. Brienne was momentarily reminded of her own shortcomings and shifted her gaze to the floor.

“Now, I know you told me not to help,” She started, her bright gaze faltering slightly, “But as your best friend it is my solemn duty to help you in all your endeavours. And well, I did some research, and-” Marge all but burst with joy, “I found you an apartment!” 

Brienne threw her arms over her friend, squealing rather loudly, much to the dismay of the neighbours. 

When they eventually collected themselves enough to form coherent sentences, Margaery said: “Now my dear, you know you are very welcome here for as long as you need, please don’t think I am pushing you out the door, I just felt that you needed some space and I-“

Brienne gave her hands a firm squeeze.

“Thank you, Marge, for everything.”

*

When she first saw the images of the place, she was shocked. It was surprisingly nice, considering the price it was going for. A generous living space, a little kitchen, the only point of concern were the two bedrooms connected by a bathroom, but she supposed it was more than she could have hoped for. 

The roommate dilemma still stood, though. The rent was very reasonable, but she simply couldn’t afford it alongside her running fees and uni deposits. 

Margaery suggested that she send out a post to the King’s Landing news forum. 

“Don’t worry, Brie, I’m sure there are lots of people in the same boat as you, give it a few weeks.”

So she did. The message was brief, and to the point.

Looking for a roommate. Preferably in second year and above, female. If you are interested, please contact me.

She wouldn’t have been specific about gender had she not felt it necessary considering her high school experience. Though she knew very well, girls could be just as cruel. 

Over the next few weeks Margaery’s words proved mistaken. Her message bank remained empty, she received not a single expression of interest. Fortunately, running training started up for the new year and succeeded in distracting her from her phone. Her day began early. 5:00AM and she left the flat, always taking care to shut the door gently so as not to wake her friend. By 7:00 she returned outrageously red and sweaty and all but crawled into the shower.

Brienne would then lapse into the mindless refreshing of her mail, until she readied herself for training and caught the bus to the field, ignoring the open gawking of her fellow commuters. Once on the track, her troubles seemed to ebb away, and the world narrowed to the pounding of her feet on the tarmac and the wind rushing past her ears. Competition season would approach before she knew it, and this year she would win. 

It was near a month after she had released the email when she finally received an inquiry. It was twilight and she was watching the first NBA game of the year to fend off the growing sense of despair that had begun to take hold of her, when her screen lit up with a message from an unknown number. 

Brienne supposed it was her phone bill for the month, so it came as a great surprise when she opened the message and found that it was in fact from a man named Petyr. 

I have an eligible candidate who would be well suited as a roommate. We are very interested if the offer still stands. 

She read the message twice, swinging between extreme excitement and mild concern. ‘Eligible candidate’ who the fuck speaks like that? The inquiry was unsettling to be sure and she had to wonder why the ‘candidate’ hadn’t just messaged her directly but beggars can’t be chooses, she supposed, and replied promptly. 

When would you like to move in?

Within a minute or two the phone lit up again, Petyr was clearly a bit excited about the whole arrangement. 

As soon as possible, perhaps next week? Monday?

Monday it is, she thought, hoping in vain that whoever this mysterious woman was, they would be as quiet and mild as possible. They didn’t have to like her, but she couldn’t bear the thought of sharing a house with someone who was rude. 

After replying, Brienne put the phone down, did a silent little whoop and then ran to tell Margaery the good news.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime moves in.

“I won’t do it.”

Jaime leant against the doorway of his father’s study, watching the calculated methodism of his movements as he signed paper after paper. 

The bold refusal hung in the air for a moment, shimmering and sputtering, ready to be plucked out at any moment, and it was, rather predictably by Tywin Lannister.

“You think you have a choice?” His voice was full of a cold mirth, that sent Jaime’s blood boiling. 

“Why yes father I - ”

Tywin cut him with a glare. “Don’t be smart with me, Jaime. I allowed you to pursue your useless sporting dreams, I allowed you to live away from home and neglect your education. And you repay my generosity by sparking these disgusting rumours with your sister. Do you have any idea what you have cost the company?” The mask of indifference seemed to flicker for a moment as his father’s face crumpled into a snarl.

“Oh, what a tragedy!” Jaime exclaimed, “How much father? 100 dragons? 1000?” 

Tywin pushed back his chair with a scrape and stood, towering above his son like some gothic statue.

“Listen hear wretch, you will move in with that girl or I will halt your fees to that ridiculous club and forbid you to play competitively or otherwise. You will not see Cersei, or talk to her under any circumstance or I will pull you from university entirely and you will come and work for me. Is that clear?”

Jaime knew better than to fight him. Tywin always had his way and he had no doubt that he would do just what he promised given the chance. He wondered briefly if his father believed the rumours, if he cared, beyond the welfare of the company that is. He supposed it didn’t matter. 

“Yes father,” he murmured,” May I leave?”

And then he spun on his heel and stalked out rather pettily before he heard the answer. 

*

It was Monday afternoon; Brienne had called in sick to Coach Tarly so she could properly introduce herself to her new roommate. The apartment still seemed fairly foreign, having only moved in three days ago after making the final deposit to the real estate company. There were boxes of her stuff scattered everywhere and her room was a haphazard dump of books, clothes and other assorted items. The couch was still in the kitchen and she had the TV set up on the ground because she couldn’t lift it onto the cabinet. 

The sky was darkening when the bell finally rang. She leapt from the bed and hurried down the hallway, her stomach a knot of nerves.

Brienne didn’t know quite what she had been expecting really. A Star Wars nerd? A zodiac-obsessed hippie? At the very least she’d expected a second-year girl to be awaiting her at the door instead of a 6 ft 5 fourth year boy. And Jaime Lannister of all people. 

He’s lost, she thought dimly, there’s been a mistake. But there he was with a suitcase that looked to be twice as big as hers in one hand, and another duffel bag slung across his shoulders.

He was of height to her, though she was slightly taller. The similarities ended there. Jaime was tan and chiselled, with eyes like jade. He was easily the best looking man she’d ever seen, though she was loath to admit it after everything she’d heard of him. 

His face was set in a distasteful sneer as if her very existence was a great inconvenience and Brienne watched as he gave her an appalled once over. “My god,” Jaime said, “Are you even a woman?”

_So the rumours are true then _, she thought, and slammed the door in his face.__

__She leant against the cool wood, heart hammering painfully in her chest as she tried to figure out what to do next. Why in the seven hells couldn’t she have just been given a friendly, respectful roommate. And really, Jaime Lannister? Was he even allowed to share an apartment with anyone after what had happened?_ _

__The bell sounded again._ _

__Brienne ignored it, until it rang for the third time and then she flung open the door angrily._ _

__“What do you want?”_ _

__“A bed perhaps? A bathroom? I’m in desperate need of a piss.”_ _

__She scowled. “Did you even read the notice?”_ _

__“Nope. Petyr Baelish did. I had nothing to do with this, in fact, my father basically evicted me from my own house so you can imagine my thrill at finding out that I’m sharing an apartment with some random, particularly unattractive second year girl.”_ _

__“Well I can help you there. I don’t accept your offer. Now please leave Mr Lannister.”_ _

__He wedged his foot in the door before she could shut it again._ _

__“Look Tarth, I need a place, you need the money, easy.”_ _

__“I have other prospects,” she lied, trying to sound confident._ _

__He rolled his eyes. “No, you don’t.”_ _

__“How would you know?”_ _

__“Does it matter?_ _

__Brienne ran a hand through her hair, reflecting on what an absolute disaster this whole thing had been. Perhaps she should have just stayed with Marge, endured the painful awkwardness of Renly’s presence. But Lannister was looking at her and though she would gladly have thrown him out onto the streets, she _did_ need the money. _ _

__“Fine,” she said reluctantly, “You can stay.”_ _

__

__*_ _

__

__Living with Jaime proved to be a nightmare. He was messy, rude and ridiculously lazy for an athlete of his calibre. Within the first two hours of his being there, he had smashed her favourite mug, flooded the bathroom after forgetting to turn off the taps, and ruined two of her shirts when he used them to mop up the water._ _

__Then, the after sprawling on the couch in nothing but pyjama bottoms for over two hours, he had the audacity to refuse the dinner she had made them both without so much as looking up from his goddamn phone._ _

__“Well, I suppose you’ll be going to bed hungry then,” she grumbled, placing his bowl back in the fridge for her lunch tomorrow._ _

__Jaime ran a hand through his stupid perfect hair and eyed her lazily. “Actually, I intend to go to bed with a belly full of the finest pepperoni pizza – which should arrive any minute – and a cold beer to wash it down.” He nodded towards the fridge. “Be a dear and pass me one.”_ _

__“You can get it yourself,” she snapped, “I’m your roommate, not your servant.”_ _

__“You’re right of course, I would never employ a servant so ugly as you.”_ _

__They glared at each other for a few long moments. His tongue was quicker than hers by a half and a great deal sharper too. It unnerved her. She hated the ease with which he could cut her. _One day I’m going to smack that smile right off your face_ , she thought, _see if I don’t_. _ _

__“Just stay away from me, Lannister.”_ _

__“Have it your way,” he purred “I’m going to take a shower if you’ve quite finished gaping at my chest.”_ _

__And that was the end of it for the first night. She watched him saunter away to their joint bathroom – he would _love_ that – and ate her now lukewarm stir fry, brooding unhappily over her poor luck and dreading what the morning would bring._ _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unfortunate series of events for all parties involved.

It was Friday and Jaime woke early to the sound of the door clicking closed. His roommate was a ghost. She left the house when the sky was still dark and returned before he rose. The only indication that she was in at all was the steam clouding the bathroom when he took his morning piss. In their joint bathroom for fucks sake. 

In the evenings she came back late from somewhere or other and spent most of the time in her bedroom. And when she did emerge, she barely spoke to him unless he goaded her into an argument. 

He’d been living with Brienne for a month now, and Jaime still knew next to nothing about her. She was into athletics. She was from some island in the middle of nowhere. She was studying bio. There were rumours circulating last year about some scandal involving a giant woman in the first year but he’d only been half listening at the time. She seemed to match the description, though. 

She also hated him, that much was clear. Sometimes he caught her glaring at him from across the room as if he was the devil reincarnate lounging on her sofa. He’d been a dick to her when he first came, but she seemed to hate him for something else too. _Aerys_ , he thought mildly, _of course it’s Aerys_. 

The sun was streaming through the apartment by the time he stumbled into the kitchen. All his beer bottles from last night had been swept from the countertop and the pizza boxes had disappeared also. The house was unbearably clean. 

When he opened the fridge, he found a note clinging to one of the shelves, scrawled in her perfect handwriting. 

Gone for a few days, staying with a friend.  
Don’t eat my stir fry.

-B

He ate the stir fry for breakfast. It was surprisingly delicious. The beef – chewy and tender, doused in a fragrant sauce, he almost felt guilty for refusing her the first night. Once he was finished, he rewrapped the bowl with cling wrap and shoved it back in the fridge. Jaime wondered briefly when she would finally decide to knock some of his teeth out. He deserved it, no doubt, and by the looks of her, she was perfectly able, and willing. 

But she was gone for the mean time, and that meant he had the apartment to himself, a glorious respite from her sullen silences and an opening that he wasn’t likely to get for a while. 

*

“You’re sharing a flat with Jaime Lannister?”

Marge’s eyes were so wide they looked as if they were about to roll out of her head. 

“Yep.”

“As in Trust fund Jaime Lannister?”

“That’s the one.”

She swirled her spoon around in her teacup while her friend gawked at her. 

“Well?”

“Well what?”

_“What do you mean ‘well what’?_ Marge shrieked, “Tell me everything this instant! I demand to know.”

Brienne sighed and ran a hand over her face, just thinking about the whole situation was bringing on a headache.   
“There’s not much to tell. He showed up at my doorstep, asked if I was a woman, and now we live together.”

“Oh my God, Oh my God, Loras is going to freak when I tell him. Wait – is he hot?”

_Yes_. “He’s a pain in the arse is what he is.”

“I thought he was living in some frat house with the rest of the A-league?”

“His dad evicted him or something.”

“Do you think it’s to do with what happened?”

She’d been wondering that herself since he came. The rumours from last Summer had been awful, and if they were anything to go by, his father would have been fuming.

Marge rested her chin in her hands, a stray curl falling across her face. “Both of them are still in the infirmary,” she murmured, “They don’t think Aerys will wake up.”

Brienne shivered, she was struck again by how little she really knew of the man she was sharing a house with – a fucking bathroom with. He may have been cleared after the trials, but she was unnerved despite it.

*

The next morning, Brienne woke wracked with the chills and aching all over. Marge looked after her for the day, always the devoted friend, and tried to cheer her up as best she could. Though by the afternoon, she decided to head home rather than infect the whole household.

When Brienne stepped out of the taxi it was almost dark outside. She pulled her jacket tight about herself to fend off the biting chill of the evening. She could hear the faint pulse of music drifting down from somewhere in the night though it was too dark to see where. 

As she climbed the stairwell up to the apartment, it began to grow louder, shriller, she could hear shrieks of laughter and drunken voices echoing off the walls. 

_Fuck_

She began to walk faster, taking the stairs two by two. The noises swelled with every step, she could hardly hear herself think. 

_That fucking bastard_

When she finally reached their landing, she froze. There were people _everywhere_. 

One girl was hunched against the wall a few paces away, balling her eyes out, she looked up at Brienne and began to cry even harder. Further down the corridor, another girl was being thrown into the air like a beach ball, giggling hysterically. The front door was hanging wide open, manned by a couple so entwined with each other, Brienne couldn’t decipher which limb belonged to who. 

She almost turned right back around for Marge’s place. She could deal with this tomorrow, when she didn’t feel like she was about to faint. But then Jaime’s smug face appeared in her mind and made her so dizzyingly furious that she shoved past the couple and stomped into the main living space. 

The place was a wreck. Food was scattered all over the floor along with paper cups and some sort of liquid that she didn’t care to guess. The pillows from the sofa had disappeared mysteriously and most of the stools in the kitchen were upturned. The strobe lights crammed beside the tv (which was blessedly intact) cast the room in a hectic glare, dancing between red and yellow and blue. 

Someone was throwing up in the sink whilst others looked on and laughed. She supposed she should be grateful that they weren’t spewing on the carpet. 

A boy walked past chugging a bottle of whisky, swaying drunkenly to his own rhythm. 

“Hey!” She yelled, over the blare of the music. “Hey, where’s Jaime?”

The boy didn’t seem to hear her, the liquor was streaming from the side of his mouth, dripping onto the floor. 

She snatched the bottle away and shook him “ _Where the fuck is Jaime?_ ”

He pointed vaguely down the hallway. 

Brienne pushed through the crowd, taking the whisky with her. Bodies writhed all about her, sweaty and stifling. Her head felt as if it was splitting in two. She stepped over a pool of vomit and stalked up the corridor.

Jaime’s room was no different from how it usually was; crap strewn everywhere, blankets in a heap, half eaten pizza abandoned on his desk, but oddly, it was empty. She sagged onto his bed, trying to ignore the nausea coiling in her stomach. _Maybe he’s gone out, maybe_ – 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a cry. A high keening noise that was snatched away quickly by the rumble of the party. It seemed to be coming from the bathroom. 

Brienne crept towards the door and turned the handle slowly. She peered inside, straining against the darkness, to find it empty. She sighed and steadied herself against the wall. _It must be the fever_. She didn’t have the energy to hustle everyone from the house. She would deal with Jaime in the morning, for now she would sleep. 

Brienne opened the connecting door to her own bedroom and froze. The whisky bottle slipped from her fingers and smashed on the floor. 

Jaime Lannister was lying in her bed. His head was thrown back in pleasure, eyes screwed shut. He was arched impossibly off the mattress, sweat sheening from his naked chest. Stranger still, was the girl who sat atop him. Golden and lovely, just as he was. Cersei. 

Neither of the twins made any move to come apart, they just gazed at her, caught in the throes of their passion like some erotic tableau. 

_What the fuck_ , Brienne thought dimly. 

She was gawking, she knew. Jaime’s eyes glittered in the half light. He looked predatory, dangerous. She stepped out of the room and closed the door. 

*


End file.
